Jan's Poetry Place

Poems Of Sadness

I know How It Feels

I know how it feels,
Because I've been there too,
Been dragged way down,
Into a cold world so blue.
I know how it feels,
Because I've been there before,
Too weak to fight,
Not wanting to go on anymore.
I know how it feels,
Because I've been through it all,
A world of darkness,
And nothing in the emptiness to break my fall.
I know how it feels,
Because I've been there too,
So helpless and lost,
I just didn't know what to do.
I know how it feels,
Because I've been there before,
A world of dispair,
Never knowing what lay in store.
I know how it feels,
Because I've been through the pain,
Consumed by heartache,
And I know I don't want to ever go there again...

{©2008 Jan Brooks}


Rollercoaster Ride

I've been way down,
And I've been up on top,
A rollercoaster ride,
When will it ever stop?
I've fallen so fast,
Into the depths of despair,
It's a slow climb up,
Never believing I would get there.
I've been down so long,
It's so hard to keep up the fight,
An impossible struggle,
Never knowing if I'll find the light.
Getting back on top,
Always seems to take forever,
There's so much doubt,
Sometimes I feel I will never.
So many obstacles,
Always seem to get in the way,
No matter what I do,
It's so hard to face another day.
But I always fight on,
And pretend I don't feel the pain,
Put on a brave face,
Take hold and climb back up again...

{©2008 Jan Brooks}



Is more than just a feeling,
It runs much deeper,
And really sends you reeling.

Is more than just deep despair,
It is a dark place,
Where it’s difficult to care.

Is more than just emotion,
It becomes exposed,
Such a powerful potion.

Is more than just the sadness,
It sinks deep inside,
You can’t avoid the madness.

Is more than just a disease,
It is an illness,
It can bring you to your knees.

Is more than just who you are,
It can consume you,
And it can leave a deep scar…

{©2009 Jan Brooks}


Building A Wall

Building a wall,
For me to hide behind,
Away from the world,
From people so cruel and unkind.
Building a wall,
To shield from prying eyes,
Away from the world,
From the anger and all the lies.
Building a wall,
To keep everyone at bay,
Away from the world,
So I don't have to hear what they say.
Building a wall,
For me to hide my tears,
Away from the world,
So no one can see my inner fears.
Building a wall,
To hide my broken heart,
Away from the world,
So they can't see I'm falling apart.
Building a wall,
To avoid another mistake,
Away from the world,
I don't need anymore heartbreak.
Building a wall,
To protect me from the pain,
Away from the world,
Never wanting to go through that again...

{©2006 Jan Brooks}

Only I Understand

Only I understand,
What she has been through,
To hell and back,
Because I have been there too.
Only I understand,
How she feels deep inside,
Tortured and torn,
Like her, I had so much to hide.
Only I understand,
How much she felt the pain,
It consumed her,
And surely drove us both insane.
Only I understand,
That her emotions run deep,
Fear and sadness,
That constantly makes us weep.
Only I understand,
What damage has been done,
The isolation,
And the cruel rejection is no fun.
Only I understand,
How the memories remain,
They're always there,
Having to relive them over again.
Only I understand,
What will happen in the end,
I've seen it all,
And in me, she has a true friend...

{©2006 Jan Brooks}

Darkness Descends

Darkness descends
On a heart full of pain
No matter what I do
I feel it so deeply again.
Darkness descends
On a soul with no hope
No matter what I do
I find it difficult to cope.
Darkness descends
On a life going nowhere
No matter what I do
I can't deny that I still care.
Darkness descends
On a mind's disconnection
No matter what I do
It's hard to fight the feeling of rejection.
Darkness descends
On a world full of regret
No matter what I do
There's no way I can forget.

{©2004 Jan Brooks}


My head is in my hands,
And the tears are flowing strong,
I just can't understand,
Why everything feels so wrong.
I feel so confused,
And my thoughts are dark and deep,
I've lost my confidence,
I'm so tired but I just can't sleep.
I sit here alone,
Often just staring into space,
I need to get away,
But I just can't seem to leave this place.
What is happening,
I seem to be losing control,
There's an ache inside,
And a strange feeling deep in my soul.
I feel so lonely,
Yet I just want to be alone,
It's so frightening,
The strangest feeling I've ever known.
I don't know what to do,
And I don't know which way to turn,
Down and depressed,
Is this a lesson I have to learn?

{©2004 Jan Brooks}


Why Does It Hurt?

Why does it hurt,
Why do I feel so much pain?
Why do I have to,
Relive the memories over again?
Why does it hurt,
Why do I have all these fears?
Why do I have to,
Go on shedding so many tears?
Why does it hurt,
Why do I always feel this way?
Why do I have to,
Always feel helpless every day?
Why does it hurt,
Why do I keep struggling on?
Why do I have to,
Live like this when life has gone?

{©2004 Jan Brooks }

My World

My world,
Came crashing down around me,
So unprepared,
For the consequences I didn't see.
My world,
Shattered by a devastating blow,
So broken,
Confronted by what I didn't know.
My world,
Plunged into the darkest night,
So terrified,
All my hopes and dreams fell out of sight.
My world,
Had been ripped and torn apart,
So desparate,
A horrible pain tearing at my heart.
My world,
Had been wrecked beyond repair,
So dejected,
Sometimes I felt I didn't even care.
My world,
Was in ruins all because of you,
So heartbreaking,
And there was nothing at all I could do...

{©2006 Jan Brooks}


Always lost,
Down an endless road,
So weighed down,
By such a heavy load.
Filled with fear,
Every single day,
Just to find my way.
Feeling the pain,
From a troubled past,
How it didn't last.
Negative thoughts,
Often cloud my mind,
Making it hard,
To leave the past behind.
Often confused,
By so many things,
Like the future,
And all that it brings.
So unsure,
Of the risks I should take,
Not wanting to,
Make the same mistake.
Fighting changes,
To the world I once knew,
Facing the truth,
Letting go is what I have to do.
My resistance,
Of what was meant to be,
In the future,
Will become clearer to me...

{©2005 Jan Brooks}

I’m Told...

I’m told to be positive,
And look on the bright side,
My negative thoughts,
I’m always forced to hide.
I’m told to always smile,
And put on a happy face,
Push the sadness away,
Stay in a cheerful place.
I’m told to look ahead,
And never look to the past,
Forget the bad times,
Focus on things that last.
I’m told to always be strong,
And never let my fears win,
Let confidence show,
And hide the turmoil within.
I’m told to always give,
And always be willing too,
Never mind my needs,
Do what they want me to do.
I’m told to never complain,
And accept my given role,
Don’t argue with them,
And always stay in control.
I’m told so many things,
But I just don’t know anymore,
What should I believe?
Why should I be listening for?

{©2008 Jan Brooks}


Emotions laid bare,
No escape,
I can't hide anywhere.
Exposing my fears,
No escape,
Reducing me to tears.
Confidence so low,
No escape,
There's nowhere I can go.
Like I'm on display,
No escape,
I just can't get away...

{©2006 Jan Brooks}

A Storm Raging

There's a storm raging,
In my crazy life,
So disorganized,
Always caught up in trouble and strife.
There's a storm raging,
In my confused mind,
Things get distorted,
And sensibility gets left behind.
There's a storm raging,
In my empty heart,
I feel a deep pain,
As my emotions are torn apart.
There's a storm raging,
In my lonely soul,
So isolated,
My life seems so out of control...

{©2005 Jan Brooks}

 Looking Out The Window

Looking out the window,
What do I really see?
A bright sunny day,
Or how it seems to me?
Looking out the window,
What do I want to do?
Face the reality,
Or ignore what is true?
Looking out the window,
What do I feel inside?
Show my emotions,
Or keep them all inside?
Looking out the window,
What do I want to say?
I can find the strength,
To face another day?

{©2008 Jan Brooks}

I Want To...

I want to run,
I want to shrink and hide,
Escape it all,
The pain tears me up inside.
I want to strike,
I want to hit out and hurt,
My reaction,
To being treated like dirt.
I want to curse,
I want to rage and swear,
Show how I feel,
To someone who didn't even care.
I want to cry,
I want to scream and shout,
Express myself,
I need to let it all out.
I want to hope,
I want to find love again,
Find happiness,
And try to let go of the pain.
I want to grow,
I want to forget the past,
Move on in life,
And find something that will last...

{©2006 Jan Brooks}

Time Slipped Away

Time slipped away,
So much I didn’t do,
Regrets in life,
I’ll always have a few.
Time slipped away,
So much I missed out on,
Often missed, lost and gone.
Time slipped away,
So much I didn’t say,
Always got in the way.
Time slipped away,
So much just passed me by,
Almost unnoticed,
And I’m left wondering why…

{©2006 Jan Brooks}